On the RhodesTer, An Ode to Dave

As most of you know, I volunteered to write an ode for the winner of Daniel Smith’s Can You Put the Wit in Twitter contest, and I was quite pleased when my pal RhodesTer, aka Dave, was announced as the winner!

Here’s his winning tweet:

The lady at The Coffee Bean laughed at my joke when I ordered a “Synonym Roll”, and asked her if there was another word to describe it.

Priceless!

Coming up with the right tone for RhodesTer’s ode was a bit of a challenge. The title was simple enough, but the voice? What voice? Then I thought of all the surreal tweets RhodesTer’s made about his dreams and old Bill Lee crept in and sort of took over. :)

On the RhodesTer

to be read in the voice of William S. Burroughs


Image credit: Zen (Flickr)
This mime is not Jack Kerouac.

Had that dream again…
The one where a mime gets his own radio show
complete with a cast of thousands…
Along with the otters
and the accountants
in a room full of candles.
Johnny Depp played the butler,
while deep in the Palm Springs night,
a little dog barked
till RhodesTer comes knocking.
Some way for dogs to rule the earth.

Coffeesister says,
“Dave, never David,
went from being seen and not heard
to heard and not seen.”

Had to be a great 18 years for them so far.

Even Shadowsillybutt gets a cameo
because broadcasting cats
isn’t just for breakfast anymore.
It’s what everyone does
with a new webcam.
Is that why Tommy Smothers says you’re funny?
I wonder what Gwyneth Paltrow would say.

And then,
way
  way
    down
at the bottom of the page…
RhodesTer has the nerve to ask,
“Why are you looking WAY DOWN HERE?”

Well, I’ll tell you Dave,
I’m looking for the free cheese that goes on my damn fish sandwich
and you moved it.
Don’t tell me Angelina
made off with it in the shaving cream-filled Miata either,
because I saw you riding side saddle on that Nighthawk,
Mr. Breeze.
I want my cheese.
All of it.
I’ve had a few beers already,
so don’t make me put you on the company computer.


RhodesTer has 22 dedicated readers. Please be sure to stop on by and subscribe to his blog. He updates it once a month whether it needs it or not.

9 thoughts on “On the RhodesTer, An Ode to Dave

  1. @RhodesTer :) You deserve it! Also, Merlin Mann (hotdogsladies) is pretty funny but you can give him a run for his money.

    P.S. Sorry for the posting delay. This got caught in the spam filter for some reason…

  2. Kowabunga, Jamie, that’s a wonderful ode to the Rhode, weaving together his various tweets, twitters, gidgets, and gadgets.

    I think he really put himself on the cyber-map with the fish-and-cheese post and the yappy pup post. Good things are in store for Dave, and not just at McDonald’s.

  3. Jamie, this was great! I truly think you have a future as a second act to “The Bard of Avon.” :-) So what does a girl have to do get an ode like that? First James now Dave, the women are jealous! LOL!

    Karen Swim’s last blog post..Pretty and Functional

  4. @KarenFL Dave was a tough nut to crack. I tried several styles. Glad you like it! I agree that RhodesTer is definitely On the Rhode now!

    @KarenSwim Yes, there are certainly going to be allegations of bromance if I continue the trend, especially as Bob Younce is up next.

    Still I’ll admit that I’m having trouble picking the first lady for the canon. You’re all so pretty and smart that I get flustered and find my grip on verse floating out the window. :)

  5. Ha! Flattery will get you everywhere! :-) Although, take a tip from Bob Younce and you may want to stick to the bromance, especially if your wife reads your blog. :-) So what say ye ladies, shall we write our own odes, hmmm?

    Karen Swim’s last blog post..Pretty and Functional

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *